Lofty Expectations

“Great expectations, on our committee Unified relations. We Rebel our Rhythm through tribulations. And treble and bass the situation with dedication”

The Dear Luncher was always aware of the fact that there are several branches of Squires Loft. However, upon searching for the Docklands edition he realised that there were 57 of them. There’s even one in Thailand. Does this make them the McDonald’s of steak houses? Let’s find out.

During the warm summer months, Docklands can actually be a decent place to visit. It is to be ignored at all other times as it is a concrete, wind-swept cesspit with very little going for it. The surrounds and decor of Squire’s Loft @ Docklands is appealing enough.

The menu choices plentiful, the beer and wine list satisfactory without being biblical. Prices reasonable as well compared to some other steakhouse venues.

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The Dear Luncher was experiencing a red meat deficiency so a large steak was required. To commence proceedings, a pot of Mountain Goat Steam Ale ($7.50)  and still steaming ciabatta-style bread with butter. A little disappointing to be handed wrapped, hotel buffet-breakfast style butter. The bread however, was excellent.


The Dear Luncher’s favourite steak to order is the rib-eye on the bone and for $48 you can get your mits on a Black Angus rib-eye on the bone at this venue. All the steaks come with chips or a baked potato on the side, Your Dear Luncher elected to have chips. Sauces are an extra $4.75 or even more for a blue cheese sauce. This is a little disappointing as normally a sauce choice is part of a steak ensemble. The Dear Luncher went for the green pepper sauce, steak cooked medium. To accompany the steak The Dear Luncher ordered a Rob Dolan red. If memory serves it was the 2013 Cabernet Shiraz Merlot ($11 by the glass).

Promptly served a mere handful of minutes later was the Black Angus rib-eye. When will restaurants get over this wooden cutting board obsession? Moreover, the steak itself did not even fit on the plate. This results in very poor manoeuvrability. The Dear Luncher needs a big block of land to frolic in, not an inner-city  studio apartment. Plating decisions aside, this meal looked appealing. See for yourself!



As well as residing on a plate that was just not large enough for the steak – the knife provided for cutting through this beast was not up to scratch. It struggled to make its way through some of the more challenging sinew closer to the bone of this rib-eye. This was a let down. The flavours, taste and enjoyment of the steak generally? Decent, but certainly not jaw dropping in its standard. The green pepper sauce was mediocre. The chips were above average.


In conclusion – Your Dear Luncher has enjoyed far greater steaks elsewhere. Whilst there are no regrets, it felt as though this particular edition of Squires Loft was lacking some pizzazz. The service was on the whole, excellent – points gained for that.

Squires Loft Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato

Location: 818 Bourke Street, Docklands, Melbourne.
Phone: 03 9670 9968
Cuisine: Steak, American.


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